Just Show Up 365 (Day 75) Tough Lessons
Today was a good day. We left Austin and headed for the Blue Bell Factory, waited in line for an hour to purchased tickets for a factory tour and then had to wait another hour before our tour began. However, the wait is nothing when you have a dip of Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip (or whatever flavor tickles your taste buds) to sweeten the wait.
By the end of the afternoon I divulged in two scoops of heaven and felt no guilt. I think God was sweetening me up to take the blow I had waiting for me this evening. For twenty minutes I’ve sat here trying to figure out what I wanted to explain, or how I wanted to explain in regards to what I’m feeling right now and the emotion is so raw if my tears of frustration, hurt and anger could bleed words onto the screen it would only suffice.
All I can say is it deals with Neal, his job, his multiple sclerosis and a consistent feeling that no matter how good we are or play by the rules the enemy will always find a way to cut in on the game. Don’t fret, I (WE) are not defeated… I’ll be damned (I make no apologies for the choice of phrase) if I allow the enemy even a hint of satisfaction at tasting the sweat of despair, fear or sorrow that tickles our hearts in this moment. And so I rely on the promise given to me in His word.
- My son, forget not my teaching, keep in mind my commands;
- For many days, and years of life, and peace, will they bring you.
- Let not kindness and fidelity leave you; bind them around your neck;
- Then will you win favor and good esteem before God and man.
- Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not;
- In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.
- Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the LORD and turn away from evil;
- This will mean health for your flesh and vigor for your bones.
And I think about when the government official risked everything he had in stature and respect among his people to find Jesus in order to save his son’s life and Jesus asked the man, “Do you believe?”
Then the boy’s father cried out, “I do believe, help my unbelief!”
We believe and we believe and we believe but then something so unfair happens and we have to cry out “Help my unbelief!”
Finally, I go to sleep secure in this passage:
Not by power, nor by might, but by my spirit, says the LORD.
And so I leave you with an Irish blessing be it that I am an Irish girl
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.