Just Show Up – Fairness / Endurance
Oh do these virtues speak to me today…no, I mean they are YELLING at me right now. Last night I had a ‘moment’ with God in the car, you know, the kind of moment where I felt fed up and wanted God to know. It wasn’t pretty. If God were sitting with me in the car I would have been pounding my fists on his chests, sobbing like a 2 year old having a tantrum. Instead, I waved my fist in the air and told him how I felt, which ended with me in a massive melt down.
Life isn’t fair. That was my main complaint.
God wrapped His strong, loving arms around me and held me tight as I sat in my parked car, in an empty parking lot and bawled. And wouldn’t you know it, the image of Mary, 9 months pregnant with his son came to mind. I had to laugh out loud at myself. Really? Did I think Mary rode on the back of that donkey, waving her fist in the air at God shouting “You are giving me a manger to stay in and have your son? Aren’t I worth the Four Seasons?”
The thought was sobering. “Okay, okay, I get it,” I whispered, dried my tears and straightened my back bone remembering where I get my strength. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Fairness (Public virtue – in relation to others)
“For through faith you are all children of God in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ…you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
To cultivate the virtue of fairness, we need to begin by accepting the truth that only God is capable of seeing the heart and judging rightly. Our responsibility is to look up, up to God, not down on others. Fairness doesn’t necessarily mean that the cookies are divided evenly. It means that we trust God to do the dividing.
It means we trust God to do the dividing. So hard to do when we can’t see the homemade giant piece of cake he has sitting on the table reserved just for us while everyone else is devouring the store bought generic oreos in front of you and your mouth is salivating. So back to TRUST I go…”Help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24
Endurance (Private virtue – in relation to God)
“They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles’ wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint.” Isaiah 40:31
The virtue of endurance is based on love. When adversities come, the person of endurance keeps going. We push beyond the pain and look ahead to the finish line, for the love of the game, love of the person, love of God. We hold on. We endure. We trust. And we discover that God is still there, even when we do not hear the Divine Whisper in our ears.
AMEN! I will hold on and turn my eyes from the temptations of the enemy to envy a life that was not made for me. I will endure and recognize that this life, even with countless trials and tribulations, is blessed and I will be grateful and thankful for each moment. I will trust in your path for me, even when I become stagnant and can’t figure my way over the terrain, I will trust that in due time you will give me the wisdom to figure it out.
I’m not proud of my fit last night but I will admit it felt good to purge what was eating me up inside. God can handle it and He did…and He answered.